gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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