she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
