You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
