There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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