I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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