You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She bit a glass in half.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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