It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
