conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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