problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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