Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my shit smells like andre
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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