Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
