My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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