My boss' voice literally gives me gas
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize