I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You need Xanax blowdarts
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize