He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
They are going to name an STD after you.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
tell me about the fingering
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