6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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