Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
