Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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