i think my mom watched the whole time
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
