i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize