ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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