he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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