i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
