Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize