you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
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Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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