Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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