Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
