So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
