this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize