I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
