i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
