if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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