My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
