I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
