so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
