Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
