Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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