Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize