I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
