wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
