i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
