Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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