just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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