How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
