I swear she didn't look like that last week.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
