Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
