I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
