People with herpes should wear stickers.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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