she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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