what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
