What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
