im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
