Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
