We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
