So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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