i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize