Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
