He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize