Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
