You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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