i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
