You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
