matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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