i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
