his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
