ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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