so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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