I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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