dude i'm inner monologue high
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
