I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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