I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I am naked and annoyed.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
