he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
